[Maybe] some stubborn part of your ego wants to be the most alluring, special girl in the room. But if you’re fixated on being the special one, the smart one, the hot one, it really does prevent you from being a person at all. You are marketing your product. You’re not living.
And when someone is in that state, everyone else knows it. I met someone like that recently. She’d ask me a question and her face would look so beautiful and interested, and then the second I opened my mouth to answer her, her face would turn snarly and ugly. It was incredible to watch. That’s what a ravenous ego-hunger does to people, when they chase down bigger and bigger ego rewards without looking closely at themselves. A lot of the celebrities have this sickness, just from being in the public eye and recognizing how tough it is to stay there. And because we see these people on our TV screens, we sometimes trick ourselves into thinking THAT’S WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE, instead of just calling it what it is: a personality collapsing under the weight of its own narcissism and ravenous ego hunger.
So you have to walk a fine line. You have to make sure that you’re honoring your desires. But you also have to give up on being the special one, the flashy one. Just be a person in the room. Let New Girl shine. Befriend her. Listen to her. Be generous and forgive her for whatever flaws she has. At the very least, behave that way and your feelings may follow. This is an opportunity for you. You are advancing to a more generous state.
But you have to accept that you are not the best, and you will never be the best. This sounds like admitting defeat, but it’s actually one of the finest victories you’ll ever achieve. Start with vulnerability, and humility, and then dare to ask for more from your life.”